You can't love them all

Jessie (who admits her personal bias against brooding depressing tv characters - who often end up being the 'mysterious leading men' & getting large fan bases) looks at personal bias/opinions about people on tv in general, and the trouble that can be caused and even more often avoided.

There's always someone, it seems. When you watch a tv show, when you watch a movie, whatever. It could be that person who is playing the part meant to make you dislike them; crude, vile, evil, whatever the factor. It could be the new lover for a main character who you don't like because you still have hopes that she'd go back to the last guy. It could be the main character themselves, coming across all broody and dark and depressing you too much. It could be even less than that even ... that one character who looks like someone from your past that you can't stand, the one that bothers you in some way they look, the way they behave.

You can't love them all. It's just a fact of life - there's always going to be something that someone will find unenjoyable, something they dislike. Which normally is'nt going to cause many issues, unless you're truly on edge and vocal about it. But in fan society, it can become the greatest bone of contention around.

There are a good many reasons why, and they do make sense. Even if you discount the fact that in a fan community, you're dealing with people who have a greater respect, interest and esteem for the people you're talking about than the rest of society may have, you also have the greater impact of numbers. In your day to day life, you may run across a number of people who watch the show you're referring to. Amongst them, you may run across a handful that have the same interest in it as you do. And if you made the same comments to that handful, with them all within hearing distance, you'd likely strike up a few strong arguments.

But in a fan community, the numbers are so much greater. The number of people who have the same interest as you do, if not sometimes more, is larger than the handful. You're reaching all the people who have access to this community, across countries, across continents, across the world in many cases. A population much vaster than the handful you may find in your day to day life. And comments you make, if made in a public forum like a messageboard, can be read by all of them, no matter what time they come to read the message, no matter if they were there days later or the same moment.

This is a factor in any fan community, from those who follow an actor's career through various appearances, to those who watch one show regularily and comment upon it. Personal taste prevails, and it's expected to. But there's an extra problem with shows like Whose Line. You're not dealing with characters. You're dealing with people.

Now, this doesn't change your ability to like or dislike them; it's the same as liking or disliking a character, or an actor, or the person who lives three doors down from you who you don't talk to much but you dislike for one reason or another. The difference is not in your opinion, but in your stating of such.

If you travel to fan communities for shows that feature characters, there is much dissent over various characters, and people 'bashing' characters is often considered inappropriate. But what is usually considered completely offensive is not the bashing of the characters, but the bashing of the actors due to your opinion of their characters. Is it any wonder that in a community where you don't even have characters, where your opinions are only on a real person, that things would get even more angry and hurtful when such arguments come up?

Does this mean you should change your opinions? No. If you don't like someone, for whatever reason, that's a personal choice. Whether your reasoning for such ranges from valid to absurd, it's just the way it is, and without such things life would be rather dull. What most fan communities ask for is not to change your opinions, but to change your way of stating them. It's one of the primary rules of many forums and communities, and it's one to keep in mind.

Wording your opinion, changing it from bashing to a thought-out point, a comment in your own opinion and worded clearly that way, can make all the difference. Thinking about it before you say it, and if your bias is all you have to add perhaps considering leaving it out of the conversation until you have a true point to make, all that is the type of thing you would do in day to day conversation in any other place. No one wants to blurt out to a boss that you think their idea is silly; you reword it, you suggest things, you come up with ideas. The same idea, used in discussions where the impact is so wide, can stop you from being misunderstood, mistreated, and get people to take you seriously instead of ignoring your words and opinion both in this case & every other statement you may make afterwards.

You never always are going to be able to hold back - I would never say I've never let my bias towards different characters show, and would be silly to claim that - but the more you do it and the more you try, the less likely you are to realize that you've offended people, or finding yourself the target of anger and flames (which in themselves are a very bad thing, but that's something you can't stop, and also something for a future article instead of this one). All of this can cause less arguments in the community, and less pain for you.

Which can't be a bad thing, can it? ;)

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Have you run across this problem, from either side of the coin? Maybe you'd like to comment on this piece ... if you do, write a letter to the editor & tell us your story! Or need a place to vent? Well, as long as you don't make it a flame, positive and negative comments both are welcome on the graffiti boards.

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